Sunday, January 22, 2012

Magic Mercury Wand! Get it here!!

Have you ever been sick? Suffer from nasal congestion, watery eyes, chills, fever, a sore throat? Did you know there is a natural man-made cure for the common cold? It was once available at every WalMart across the nation. A cure that even doctors use in their own homes, but don't want you to realize this is what is actually curing you, and not the medicine they charge you for. It was probably even designed by a mom, who just like you only wants her kids to feel better and doesn't want to pump them full of poison1 at their young age.

It has been said that mercury containing vaccines cause autism. However, my findings are at odds with this claim. I have HARD EVIDENCE2 that mercury containing devices cure the common cold.

Doctors approve of using this. It's safe and effective.

What is it you ask?

A simple mercury containing thermometer. Doctors used these for THOUSANDS OF YEARS before banning them in the home! According to Wikipedia, "In the United States both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the United States Environmental Protection Agency recommend that alternative thermometers be used in the home." Instead they are trying to convince you that new-age quack alternative thermometers be used! Why? Because they want to keep you sick! Well the secret is out America!

As the graph shows, the Magic Mercury Wand far exceeds other.

Doctors will deny that this is what is actually curing your illnesses, but before it being banned, insisted on using it EVERY time you visit their offices. It's like a magic wand they stick right in your face! And if the secret is let out then of course they won't be able to profit from the lucrative, endless cycle of pills they push. So they banned its use to hide its magical properties in order to continue funding their pet projects.

Here's how it works. Every time I use a mercury containing thermometer I become cured of whatever ails me. For example: I fall sick, I hold a thermometer under my tounge for 60 seconds, and then within days regain health! If this isn't proof, then I don't know what is.3 We don't need any tests or experiments or science to tell us that we get better when we use thermometers! And who am I? I'm a mom. I wouldn't lie to you about your health, would I? No of course not! I'm a just mama in the deep south who just happened to find a way to cure people and want to spread my down home findings to the world without charging you insane amounts of your hard earned dollars!

Seeing as how you can't purchase these in your local WalMart any longer due to doctor's secrecy... I have a solution for you! If you want to assemble a Magic Mercury Wand of your own in your own home so that you know exactly what's in it and that it's made to your standards, I suggest you buy the Magic Mercury Wand kit, which you can purchase right here at this very blog! For only $9,000 you too can create your own healing mechanism in the comfort and security of your own home and no longer be at the mercy of "doctors" who really just want to take your money and keep you coming back.

What have you got to lose?4

And before you ask, YES this has be reviewed by my peers! A handful of my peers have read this.5






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Footnotes:

1. medicine, which actually stands a chance at helping you.

2. anecdotal not-evidence.

3. It's not. It's me ignoring regression to the mean and attributing healing qualities to the wrong thing, which can be done for anything... I got a cold, I did the hokey pokey while wearing spaghetti on my head, and within days got better.

4. Everything. Your life and the lives of others. Bad ideas and bad science easily mislead public opinion and confuse us. Read more, require more.

5. And laughed hysterically.

4 comments:

  1. be careful, someone might actually believe that...

    ReplyDelete
  2. and ignore the footnotes

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll be sure to alert Jenny McCarthy that it is for entertainment purposes only.

    ReplyDelete